I think we are all psychics to some degree and most people have a memory or two or more, whether they have shared them with someone else or not. For example, we think of someone and the phone rings. In fact, a few minutes ago I was thinking about my friend Arielle in Indianapolis, IN. I was about to pick up the cell phone and call her when my little bell on my computer rang for incoming mail. I got an email from her. I believe that this type of telepathic communication occurs much more frequently than we realize.
The more I think about it and delve into my memories and subconscious mind, the more I realize that I have always been psychic and able to tune into the spirit realm. When I was doing my psychic development training with my teacher Mary many years ago, she told me that part of my training would be to teach myself to go into a type of hypnotic altered state and be able to recall some of my earliest psychic experiences. I can still remember his words: “Michael, since you already have some experience with hypnosis, you would be an excellent subject and could go into deep levels of trance. But it is not really necessary. In fact, you can meditate and put yourself in a kind of trance.” to retrieve whatever information you want to access. I can train you to get started.” I found the idea intriguing and fondly remembered the stage hypnosis demonstration I witnessed in high school by “The Amazing Kreskin” mentalist the summer of my freshman year in college and in music therapy class and by my girlfriend Martina.
Everything Maria said turned out to be true. I taught myself to go into hypnotic states of mind where I could recall vivid memories from childhood (and later from past lives). There is a memory that I can recall as vividly as if it were happening now. It was when I was learning to speak. Some of the first words that came out of my lips were not mom or dad, but ‘cat faces’. It took me a while to learn how to pronounce the words accurately, but what I was trying to say was ‘friendly faces’. I would look up and see these different spiritual faces smiling at me and waving at me. I would laugh and point my fingers in the air and repeat ‘Faces of Feny’. feline faces. “Who are you talking to?” my mother asked. laugh. “Do you have an imaginary friend?” She thought it was funny, although I don’t think she ever realized that her little one was seeing and trying to talk to spirits that no one else could see.
Those early carefree times were short-lived. My father would make fun of me and he would tell me to stop acting so stupid. So for a long time my ‘cat faces’ disappeared and I didn’t talk about them anymore. Sometimes I thought of them and missed them, but they were gone. On a soul level, I may have asked them to leave out of fear of what my father might say or do. He was extremely volatile and had a short temper. My father had his first nervous breakdown when I was three years old. I remember mom running out the door yelling, “he’s going to kill me, he’s going to kill me.” He freaked out and he had a gun and he was screaming and threatening to kill her. He spent the next six weeks in “Our Lady of Peace” psychiatric hospital in Louisville, KY. Dad went crazy many more times over the years and spent more time in the “crazy house,” as my younger brother calls mental hospitals. I never told anyone about my ‘cat faces’ but I never forgot them.
To get away from the agitation and constant drinking and fighting at home, I got involved with a local Baptist church when I was eleven years old. He had an insatiable hunger and curiosity for spiritual knowledge even back then. About a year later, an eccentric woman began attending Sunday morning services. Her name was Pansy Parker. She had gray hair, disheveled and greasy, and her clothes were tattooed. She often gave a testimony and sometimes her head and body trembled. It was hard to make out some of her words. Some of the ladies in the church were whispering to each other and several times I heard this or that say, “There goes that Pansy Parker again. She’s just some weird crazy old lady babbling about nothing.” Pansy would ignore them but she would always make sure to turn her gaze in my direction. She would give me goosebumps and chills and then look away, embarrassed.
When we had the ‘handshake’ part of the service, Pansy always made sure to hold my hand a little longer than usual and looked deep into my eyes. My heart was beginning to pound and my knees were shaking. My face turned beet red. One Sunday, during the ‘handshake’ portion of the service, a lady shouted “Praise the Lord” and began speaking in tongues. People were delighted because this almost never happened in our church. I remember Pansy taking my hand as usual and moving to back me up a few feet. She then reached into her pocket and pulled something out of her. She got close to my face and quietly she said:
“Michael, God has given you many talents.” He then he pointed to his head. “Voices have spoken to you and you have seen spirit faces. You should never be afraid or ashamed of this gift. You will see spirit faces and you will speak to them again. Be very careful who you talk about this with, because they will not understand. They will think you are funny of the head like Pansy is,” he said, smiling. “You should know that God and his angels are always watching over you in the difficult times ahead. God has children throughout the cosmos and not all of them look like humans. Some are much more advanced and spiritual than the people here. They know you look at the stars a lot. This is because you are a star child. Jesus said in my father’s house many mansions.
“Your true origin is far from here, as is mine and some other people you will meet in the future. You will meet some people from heaven in the future. God and the Spirit will also show you things; they will give you visions and show you things about people..Things that will help them.Nothing bad, but good things so that they feel close to God and the angels and that they know that they are not alone and there is help for them.You are going to help many people with your gifts. .” Then Pansy let go of my hand. She had put a ten dollar bill in it. I was dumbfounded. I nodded and tried to return it, but she whispered, “No, this is a sign that God and the angels are always watching over you. And you remember Pansy when you listen to the sky people.”
Needless to say, he was quite bewildered and dumbfounded. What made me sad is that there was no one who I felt could understand what Pansy had said. He wasn’t even sure he had. And how did she know that she had seen spirit faces? She had blocked that out and forgotten those early memories.
That church experience made my mind spin and I had questions I wanted to ask Pansy. She even wrote them down and hid my notebook in my dresser drawer. He would try to think how he could manage to spend a few moments with Pansy without arousing suspicion among the parishioners. That was never a problem because Pansy Parker never came back to my church after that little chat with me. I kept the ten dollar bill for a long time to remind myself that I wasn’t losing my mind or making up the experience with Pansy.
Looking back so many years later, I wonder if Pansy Parker might have been an angel who came to my church those few times. Had she come there specifically to deliver that message of hope to me? Because once she delivered her message she never came back? Maybe I’ll never know. But one thing is for sure. I know that I will always remember her fondly and many times I am grateful for the gift of hope that she gave me. That memory would be useful and help me get through very difficult times.