What I witnessed at first made me verify that I had taken my medication. Mr. Vauxhall’s driver had a pretty wife in the front, five screaming kids in the back, and more luggage than any carousel at Heathrow in the trunk. In a scene not unlike that part of Star Trek when they say ‘warp speed’ and your TV gets funny and blurry, the lights turned green and the Zafira, yeah, ZAFIRA, a minivan, disappeared. Was the wife really Spock? Had William Shatner returned from his legal affairs in Boston? No. Before the Zafira disappeared, I saw the “Vauxhall VXR” license plate on the rear.
Now I agree that you have every right to be skeptical that the Vauxhall VXR range, which encompasses the (deep breath): Corsa, Astra, Vectra, Monaro, Meriva and Zafira, is neither bigger nor better than the Deluge. of other high-performance cars. other manufacturers currently produce. They all promise that heady mix of practicality and safety you get with the base model topped off with a sadistic whiplash-inducing motor for your extra buck.
Personally, I’m at the stage of my life (well, I’m 24, but I like to think that I’m not a boy runner anymore) where I want speed but also a bit of sophistication. Gone are the days of tying a small town-sized exhaust pipe to my shed and yelling “look at me” at passing kebab houses. The fact that there is so much high performance metal to choose from means that the prices are competitive and the standard is high. So what are the options?
Well we can exclude the Golf GTi because I can drive, the Renault Clio F1 197 has an “F1 inspired rear diffuser” that shows as clear a link to your F1 car as the Arctic Monkeys are inspired by Cliff Richard. The Seat Leon Sport is brutal, the Mini Cooper ‘S’ is eccentric and for the hairdressers and the Honda Civic Type R it is flawless … until they went and messed it all up by doing something stupid like a new model.
This then leaves us with the two great rivals, the Oasis and Blur of the motor world: Vauxhall and Ford. Where Vauxhall has the Corsa VXR, Ford has the Fiesta ST. Ford Focus ST? How about the Vauxhall Astra VXR? Head-to-head, these auto giants struggle to get by with cars with similar specs and prices and with performance numbers that tell the difference. I’m personally a VXR man, but the sales figures show that both companies have fans in equal measure. Until we get to the completely unique Vauxhall Zafira VXR …
The fact that this article is dedicated to a minivan is certainly a sufficient testament to its prowess, but as an added endorsement, this article is about “the fastest production minivan ever made” – impressive. Remember that the two extra seats in a minivan had to be left in the driveway when you wanted more trunk space? The Zafira ingeniously solved that by having them fold up on the floor of the car. The maximum NCAP safety rating of five stars for an MPV was also claimed. The VXR version has all of this in its name and 237bhp that helps it hit a top speed of 144mph and a 0-60 time of 7.2 seconds. It comes equipped with Recaro racing seats, VXR-style cues from Vauxhall’s British Touring Car program, and a ‘sport’ button that increases steering and throttle response when pressed, all while driving another six and your luggage!
You can expect the car to roll over like the lovable family dog, but even the curves are prepared. I’d be a liar if I said it didn’t roll any more than the Corsa derivative, for example, but compared to any other minivan it’s just impressive. From a buyer’s perspective, expect decent waste, as the depreciation of the older, less powerful GSi version suggests I’m not alone in my admiration for the ultra-fast minivan combination.
Grandma in the back may not appreciate acting, but you’ll be great to your kids. The insult of having a minivan without fun has never fallen flat on its face.