Mix up a martini, don’t forget the olives, or pour yourself a tea, kick back and enjoy!
There are no hard and fast rules for journaling. How often you write, how much time you spend, and how rigorously you maintain a regular journaling schedule are all matters of personal choice and circumstance. Therefore, it is important to find what works for you.
Let me provide nine guidelines that I promote:
1. Having a regular time to write a journal creates routine and discipline. Journaling isn’t necessarily about what you write; it is simply about expressing your thoughts to create emotional balance. Find a time of day that feels good to you. Come back at this time as often as possible, even if you think you have nothing to say, are tired, or are not quite awake. Start by simply recording a quote that you have remembered or a mantra that you are currently using to change. Maybe even a list of things you need to do that day or the next day. The process only requires a starting point. The rest will flow naturally. Everyone needs personal time to process their thinking. Build emotional intelligence (EQ). Allow yourself, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to be emotionally balanced.
2. Prepare your space for success. Would you prefer your environment to be quiet? Maybe you need hustle and bustle around you. Do you prefer specific music or certain writing materials? I like to have my favorite blanket around me when I think about personal things. I like to write about business stuff in a noisy place. I like to write about marketing at McDonald’s smelling like fries and grease. Where are yours?
3. Develop a centering ritual. By associating journaling with another pleasurable habit, you can strengthen your journaling practice and create an atmosphere of self-care. The ritual may include a glass of wine, tea or coffee. It may be after a phone call with someone. You can start with a certain piece of music. Perhaps meditation, deep breathing exercises, or prayer will center you. I have a list of ways to center typed and taped to the front of each journal. I go down the list and start with the one that feels right at the moment.
4. Start with a prompt. Maybe you want to focus on a particular type of personal development change, and a prompt gets you to that focus faster. Or maybe a general reflection message lights the spark plugs. For example, “What am I feeling right now?” or “What’s been on your mind?” Diary author Anais Nin suggests asking, “What feels vivid, warm, or close right now?”
5. Write because you know there is great benefit to you in doing so. Don’t let journaling become an obligation or a chore. Allow yourself to give yourself. Be kind and gentle during this process. Let the experience always look as good as possible no matter what is poured onto the page. Do not demand more of yourself than you can give at that moment. It is perfect. If you miss a day or days, accept that journaling, like life, is imperfect and move on. Start over when you get the chance. Punishing yourself for not keeping a diary isn’t going to help anyone, not even you. No one is rating you. No one is measuring and tracking. Be kind to yourself. Remember, there are no rules.
6. Create a positive feedback loop. As you continue to use journaling as an opportunity to be with yourself and learn about yourself, you will find that the practice gains momentum on its own. Discovering your hidden depths arouses your curiosity and stimulates you to continue, establishing a positive feedback loop between your conscious and unconscious mind. Open the gaps that fall between space and time. It opens creativity, imagination and possibilities.
7. Emphasize the process and not the product. An important purpose of journaling is simply to express and record your thoughts and feelings. Focus on the thought process. Keep the words flowing and stop worrying about the outcome. If your journal is about something specific, read again. Please leave room for editing if you wish. Feel free to cross out words because you changed your mind and found a better one. Allow yourself to cross out paragraphs and rewrite them to mean what you say. This is all part of the thought process. Every time you rewrite your pose, your growth triples. Use your journal as the raw processing material for more refined thinking.
8. Learn from your experiences. Set a time to reread your posts. It’s good to see how much you’ve grown in your thinking. Reinforce how you have changed and grown. It’s a wonderful and personal way to give yourself a pat on the back of life. When you reread your material, look for patterns and correlations. What improved? What stayed the same? Learning from you is much easier on self-esteem. Use objectivity to see a new perspective or a retrospective lesson.
Relax, have fun and laugh! Journaling is rewarding. Once you start, your diary will become a good friend. It is available whenever you need it. Day, night, at home, in the car or in a cafe. He is a 24/7 friend and is always ready to love you if you let him.
Your diary loves you simply for being you.