After looking at many factors, including a myriad of long-term happy couples, I believe that the quality of being humble is the most important thing in maintaining virtue between partners.
When one lives modestly, it is possible to truly commit to each other, instead of treating their relationships as a joy. It allows you to stay the course of the relationship, instead of succumbing to the indecisive mind, or ego, that constantly collects evidence against your partner. From humility, one can stop worrying unduly about trivial issues of everyday things for the benefit of unity and harmony. My husband and I have married couple values. Number one is “Unity and Commitment”. We are committed no matter what. We’ve both decided that neither of us is going anywhere. However, we do have examples of long-term couples who are bitter but will never break up. That’s why we added “Unity”. We stay the course of the marriage and maintain peace and love in the relationship.
If we are humble, we can know that ultimately our spouse cannot make us angry. They can certainly give us countless opportunities to choose anger, but that choice is ours alone. In humility we can discuss any subject, even petty ones, and find a firm decision to do or not do something since the need to punish our partner is removed.
When we go beyond the obstacles, especially from a team spirit, we get the real magic from the other side. Instead of running, the two gain a deeper sense of intimacy than they could have imagined possible.
Our relationships activate our old stories; “not enough”, “not compatible”, “not lovable”, etc. When we see our “activities” and agree not to inflict each other, then we can successfully release and heal that old worn-out junk within the safe haven of the relationship.
Humility is the quality of being really real about who and what you are, the good and the bad, and presenting yourself honestly. Also, it is being willing to do what is right for the marriage over what seems right for the individual at the time.
REMEMBER:
Compatibility = Friendship + Empathy + Fulfillment of mutual needs
Friendship: Understand and take care of each other as friends. To gauge the depth of friendship between two people: ask yourself, “Would we still want each other in our lives even if there was no sexual attraction between us?”
Empathy – Understand where the other person comes from. Her needs, biases, weaknesses, and the roots of it all. As long as you are genuinely want Y attempt understand each other, they will discover that their relationship is reaching new depths.
Fulfillment of mutual needs – A follow-up step to the latter is a genuine desire to meet the needs of the partner in the relationship. The stability of a relationship is determined by each partner’s response to ONE debatable question:
Are my needs from this relationship being met?
That’s what it boils down to.