Many parents have lost control of their own leadership and it is the children who make the decisions. Why is that? We’ve built a system where parents leave their children in day care, working full time, and then guilt-ridden, obeying their children’s every wish. It is also common for parents to make promises. For example “Next week we will see that movie!”
And when the day comes it has to be canceled for some reason. Making promises and not keeping them is fatal to relationships and developing authority. It all depends on the child’s abilities to understand, of course. In the long run it is devastating. Divorced parents are much more complicated when the children take advantage of the divorce to not get along. It is even more important that parents cooperate for the good of the child.
Trust each other. Trust that the other parent is capable of caring for the child and doing what is best for him or her. Gaining the trust of the other parent is difficult. The sooner the better. We often listen to someone with our ears, what he says, the sound. What we must listen to is the body language that represents more than 80% of the communication, how the person acts and reacts.
What is the boy really saying? Taking the words literally is risky. Ask the child questions such as: What do you mean by… Is it true that… How exactly do you know…? I see you’re sad, tell me why. These and other open questions are his tools as a parent to train his son and build trust and respect. There are many books on the subject. Read one and grow up.