Stress doesn’t “just happen” to everyone. It is not an event that occurs outside of the individual. It is an internal process and, like all internal processes, stress begins in our mind. How can you harness the power of your mind to avoid stress leading to distress? It all starts with the alphabet. The basic principles of mental stress management are awareness, beliefs, and coping. If you can master this thought process, you have taken a big step on the road to wellness.
Awareness
Consciousness is the key to any change process. Until you are able to make the connection between those anxious feelings, obsessive behaviors, or just treating yourself badly and stress, you cannot begin to change. Awareness means learning to pay attention to what is going on in your body and mind. It means paying attention to how you act and how you react. It means learning what triggers negative reactions in yourself. Finally, it means learning to control yourself before engaging in destructive behaviors.
Not being aware of your reactions to stress triggers can be as deadly as not watching for traffic before stepping off the curb. Researchers tell us that it only takes 30 seconds for the human body to go into a large-scale stress reaction. What this means is that within 30 seconds of reacting in anger, you are allowing potentially lethal chemical and physiological changes to begin in your body. If you think of stress reactions as near death experiences, you begin to see the tremendous impact of a lack of awareness of our reactions to the many stressors in our daily lives.
Learn to listen to your body. Be aware of the signs of stress. Do you feel your muscles start to tense when you approach that person who always seems to push your buttons? Does the thought of balancing your checkbook leave your mind blank? These are signs of stress. Be aware of what is happening. Be aware of when it happens. This is the step to manage your stress.
But consciousness is more than being aware of events and reactions. It also means being alert to what is going on in your mind. What messages do you send yourself in stressful situations? Be aware of what those messages are. You may want to keep a simple stress journal. Take a small notepad or some index cards with you. When you feel him starting to react, write down what prompted the response and how you responded. Try to capture what you are thinking at the moment. This information will help you select the most appropriate coping techniques for the stress in your life.
Finally, awareness includes the awareness that something is wrong with your thinking and behavior. You must be aware that there are other ways of thinking and acting. You should be aware that your current process may not be the best for you. Without the awareness that there is a problem and the awareness that you have other options, there is no possibility of change.
Belief
Once you are aware of the need for change, you must believe that you have the power to change. You must believe that what you think, say, and do influences your well-being.
Stress is a reaction, not an event. Your reactions are governed by your beliefs about yourself and the world. Part of managing stress comes from what you believe about your ability to control your thoughts and your life. If, for example, your boss, spouse or child approaches you in an aggressive and angry way, you can react in two ways. You may believe that you have a problem or that you are at fault, or you may believe that they have a problem or that they are out of control.
Your belief determines who is in control of your life at that moment. If you allow yourself to get angry or feel like you must have done something wrong, you are triggering a stress reaction. As you begin to physically react to the situation, you are also giving the other person control. In fact, you are putting your life in the palm of his hand. Is this what you want to do?
By believing in yourself and your ability to stay calm, engage in discussion, and solve problems in your life, you can stay in control. You won’t allow that stress reaction to start. If you think you can handle anything life gives you, you can handle any problem. This does not mean that life is wonderful all the time. What it does mean is that if you believe in yourself, you can minimize the effects of negative stress and make the best use of all your resources to meet challenges head-on.
Coping strategies
When you are aware of stress triggers and believe that you can reduce the negative effects of stress through your own thoughts and actions, you are ready to begin dealing with stress. Coping with stress means researching different coping strategies and finding the ones that work best for you. This could include a wide range of physical and mental activities, from going to the gym to visualizing and creating counters.