Male masturbation acts as a safety valve for the sexual drive of men. But a woman is not aware that she needs sexual liberation. A woman does not have the benefit of external triggers that cause male arousal before men begin to stimulate themselves. A woman has to generate enough arousal for orgasm out of nowhere. A woman masturbates purely to enjoy orgasm.
When a woman masturbates in a position other than face down, she is not responding to sexual instinct. She is consciously deciding to stimulate herself because she believes she should or because she hopes to discover orgasm. She is not motivated by an instinctive response to erotic arousal. She consciously bases her actions on portrayals of women in porn or erotic fiction. Unfortunately, these accounts are based on what turns a man on rather than being a reflection of how a woman actually reaches orgasm. For a receptive woman, the motivation to push comes from the swelling of the clitoral organ as a result of her mental arousal.
The actions of masturbation are performed subconsciously and are the result of a primitive driving instinct. The body responds to what happens in the mind. If a woman’s body is capable of having an orgasm, the clitoral organ responds. She may feel a sense of erotic arousal as blood flows to her genitals in response to what she is thinking. The clitoral organ becomes more sensitive to stimulation and provides an erotic feedback loop through her fingers.
Men’s acute arousal (especially with a lover) means they can be much more flexible in the techniques they use to reach orgasm. A woman’s masturbation technique is not limited by a lack of imagination or a reluctance to try other approaches. A woman learns from experience that orgasm is achieved only in a very specific way. She can only reach orgasm through the use of a meditation technique that involves an intense focus on erotic fantasy. She also has to push with her hips and put pressure on the clitoral organ (pushing down with her fingers and contracting her pelvic muscles).
Women’s masturbation techniques are not as sociable as men’s. She cannot orgasm with a lover or with an audience of any kind. A woman also does not observe herself during the performance. If her goal is orgasm, a woman needs to eliminate distractions and block out the physical world in order to focus on the sensations within her body. A woman closes her eyes to concentrate on achieving the psychological arousal she needs to reach orgasm.
When a man has sex, he engages her buttocks as he thrusts. This is because he is pushing someone else’s body. The thrust of his pelvis hits a firm obstacle in the shape of a lover’s body. He can thrust only up to a certain point which is defined by the length of his penis. When a woman masturbates, her fingers substitute for the butt of a lover’s body. This mimics the effect a man has when he pushes against a body, of hitting a firm stopping point. The compression technique includes pressing the sexual organ against a firm obstacle just as orgasm is reached.
The type of stimulation that is required for a woman to reach orgasm restricts the position in which she can masturbate. A woman needs to lie on her stomach with her hands on her vulva. This position allows the freedom of movement necessary for pushing. Men also like intercourse positions that give them thrusting control. They stand on, behind, or on top of a woman to get the internal pressure, which intensifies the physical sensations of orgasm. Orgasm is achieved through the combined stimulation of the fingers, pelvic muscles, and body weight on the clitoral organ. This technique is incompatible with a lover or a vibrator. Unfortunately, women’s instinctive masturbation techniques don’t provide the kind of genital display and supposed invitation to penetrate that men enjoy as erotic arousal.
A woman reaches orgasm when her mind is at the peak of excitement. She synchronizes this mental arousal with internal and external pressure on the clitoris. The use of fantasy produces a feeling of release that includes an increased heartbeat and heavy breathing that culminates in waves of relaxation. There is a feeling of release followed by tiredness. After orgasm, a woman’s vulva remains swollen. After orgasm, the area next to her labia is pleasant to touch, and her clitoris has a small point of tenderness.
The concentration of stimulation on the clitoris and labia minora in masturbation is a demonstration of the fact that these are the parts of the genitalia that are best provided with the final organs of touch. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)