Are you wondering whether or not you should try to get your ex girlfriend or boyfriend back? Before you do anything, it’s good to know which signs and signals indicate post-breakup interest… and which don’t.
After a breakup, many people fight for a second chance at their relationship. It’s common to want to hold on to someone when you still love them, especially if you think romance can work. But does your ex still love you? Knowing the answer can make a big difference in whether or not you get them back.
For every break there is a possible reconciliation. For anyone trying to get an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend back, you need to understand and believe that fixing your breakup is not only possible, but quite likely. An initial number of couples give love a second chance after being apart for a while, and your own relationship should be no different. But if your ex was the one who broke things off, it’s your responsibility to get him to the point where he misses you, needs you, and wants you back.
Existing feelings: why they persist after a breakup
One important thing to keep in mind is that a partner’s feelings for you will always be strong. To break up with you, they can’t just turn off their feelings like a faucet…it doesn’t work that way. So what your ex does is take any leftover emotions he or she may have toward you after the breakup and buries them deep inside. Sometimes they bury them deep, but other times they put them just below the surface. You can always tell when your ex still loves you because he will pull away quickly and be reluctant to talk to you immediately after the breakup, often breaking down in tears as a coping mechanism to get away from you. This is because he or she knows that you are trying to get those feelings out and show them.
If getting your ex back was simple, you could unearth those feelings and use them to win her heart back. However, it is a bit more complicated than that. The ideal way to win back an ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend is to allow that person to rediscover those emotions for themselves. This isn’t to say that you can’t help by showing your ex where those feelings are buried. There are very specific methods to discover the love that your ex still has for you, but you have to do it in a slow and subtle way. If you seem too quick, desperate, or overbearing, your ex will take three steps back for every one you take.
Provoking your ex to face those emotions will make him miss you, and from there, think about you. Going out with you again is the next logical step, as he or she begins to realize what life will be like without you. Many people are afraid to make a move before asking themselves “Does my ex still love me?” They want definite signs that their ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend still has feelings for them before moving on.
Interpret how your ex treats you after breaking things up
To know how good your chances are, you need to examine the way your boyfriend or girlfriend has treated you after the breakup.
Have you been in contact with your ex? Post-breakup communication is often an indication that one or both of you are not over the relationship. If your ex hasn’t called or texted after things ended, she may be trying to move on. The further you go, the harder it will be to get them back. While giving your ex some space after the breakup, and a period of no communication, can be critical to making them miss you again, there is also a time when you should initiate contact with yourself. Knowing when and how to do it is crucial, before your ex strays too far from your relationship, making it unrecoverable.
Don’t be upset if your ex hasn’t called you yet. If his feelings are strong, breaking the ties may require him to stay away from you for a while. Some people do this out of fear of relapsing the relationship. They know their own feelings…and those feelings are so strong that they are afraid that seeing or hearing you will destroy their will to go through with the breakup. But other people? They are intentionally trying to put you out of their minds for a reason. Getting back in your ex’s head is a necessary part of getting your boyfriend or girlfriend back.
The good news is that if you’re still in contact with your ex, things are looking up. If he or she is still emailing or texting you, or even calling to talk to you after you’ve broken up, he or she probably misses your company. Anyone who still talks to an ex has still left the door open to the relationship…if only a crack. There are methods you can use to gently pull past feelings and emotions back towards you, slowly opening that door. By touching on existing memories you shared together and exhibiting behaviors consistent with the beginning of your relationship, you can put your ex in a completely different mindset. Once you’ve created the kind of environment where they’re receptive to the idea of dating you again, you can schedule an informal meeting for lunch or coffee. This is a big step in getting back together after a breakup.
An even better sign that your ex still loves you is when he calls you just to say hello, without any provocation or message from you. When that happens, your ex is sitting on the fence, trying to determine whether or not she should get back together with you. A part of them wants to see you again, and the other part wants to stay single. What part do you get when he or she calls? It all depends on the moment. Many different factors affect your ex’s state of mind at different times of the day or week. For example, when they are alone and sitting on her bed at night. That’s when your ex is most likely to miss you. Choosing these moments of opportunity to take the plunge can greatly increase your chances of success, but timing isn’t everything…you also need to know what to say and what to do to make your ex want to win you back.